lonely guy

Blog time again... tml got camp le.. so today must blog... =) wednesday just got back result.. hmm.. i was unhappy with my result.. cause i have deprove... GPA drop by 0.1 ... must heng cummulative GPA didnt drop.. increase by only.. 0.05 T-T..

Hao.. i get 3As, 2B+,1B and 1 c+. Hmmm, haah.. stupid C... always get one for every semester.. lolx... today friday le... all this while i have been slacking.. thinking and thinking.. T-T ... okie lar.. i stop execise le.. dunno why.. too lazy le ba.. must resume it next week. must train. Be a stronger rt liu. Don get look down on people. =) not happy i box you. haha.

Tues i slack, wed also, thur also.. today.. maybe.. lolx... thats all le.. slacking blog also.. =)

i wanted to scream~!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH~! weep.. haix... do nothing also have problem... do things also have.. what am i suppose to do huh? what??? I am so sick now... tired of everything... really tired of everything.. i do nothing and problem will automatically find me... you tell me what am i fucking suppose to do.. i seldom scold bad word in writting.. thats mean i am really hurt.. haix...

i am just a living creatures like you all.. can't i have the same life as you all? with no troubles... maple and maple.. why?? why all this shit things keep coming towards and entering my life? i was trying to change myself.. to become a more stronger, happier person.. What did i did wrong? i am so damn hurt now.. worse of all, i have none to pour my sorrow.. 0... why???? so tired.. really tired of living here...

still remember last last nite.. while i was bathing.. i slipped.. almost fall.. but i stop and hold on to something... (if i didnt hold on to something, my head will bang hard on the toliet bowl.. then i will have crash my head and die)

that will be accident.. a real accident.. haix... really hurt now... sick plus hurt... u all dunno how its feel... its so damn no good feeling.. really... what i am suppose to do? i was changing.. the state of changing.. but now.. i am really really tired of living... really.. serious... i have lost anything.. maybe losing faith now... thats the worse of all.. losing myself.. losing the battle of myself.. so let it be.. i don't care now.. who will care about me? i am just a fly in everybody eyes.. i am nothing.. nothing special to be seen.. no.. foolish me.. just let out and leave the world...

x.x boredom x.x

x.x" bOred, bored, bored... holiday went so smoothly so far, finish camp, finish painting, finish my life.. lol.. jk.. err.. very boring sia... hmm.. last week was jobweek, at first didn't wanted to go for the camp de.. but pt they all pull me in... so go lor.. haha... in fact its just next door to me... =) very bored de lor.. haha.. i take care of all the keys for the classroom.. -___-"

hai... hai hao ba.. lolx... ok.. then scout camp finish.. before camp, i was painting my room.. and its done le... black with blue.. haha.. thankx yf, mich, sc for your help.. =)

planning to wake up early everyday to jog de.. but only manage to do one time.. haha... so starting from tml i must do it le.. jia you ba.. nameless liu...

super tired

tired tired tired... yup.. soOoo tired... stupid life... stupid world... stupid friends... ='( tired of treating ppl sOoo gOood but in the end hurt myself...

Just woke up and can't get back to sleep again. So, i decided to voice my unhappines in my blog since no one will be willing to lend a listen ear for me. Blog please listen to me will you? =) You know, i really get hurt when my friends ignore me. I cannot stand people to ignore me. Its feel so bad you know. The feeling of loneliness of whom will understand? The feeling of ignoring will who understand? The feeling of unfairness will whom know? AHHHH! T-T stupid stupid stupid.

Sometime i wonder why i am a human or why i was born here in Singapore? Maybe i will be living better if i live in other world or i am.. inhuman. LOLx. Maybe i will have different treatment, better off than here. Haix. Damn sad.. Damn sad.. but who will know? I am a person that does like to keep something to myself(sometime got larx) So i need someone to lend a listen ear. People will say "OKOK.. whats up?" haix.. sick of that liao lors... Saying is easier than action. I really sad about this you know blog? Ya.. i am talking to blog.. cause no one listen to me other then you ba? haha..

Erm... what i dislike people is that they only need you only when they need help. Erm, not say dislike lar.. I never hated a person.. i just feel hurt.. hai.. cause i am too soft harded to hate someone... 18 years i have not hated a single person... if i have dispute with friends, i will settle it clearly... Why hate? Cause u doesn't know you are also ignoring someone or you need help then u ask your friend, but if they need, you say u not free? Thats is why you can't hate. If you hate, u hating yourself too.. Right? make sense.. lolx..

In summary, I just wanted no one to ignore me.. cause.. i am real shatter now.. real hurt now... aint wanted to take another blow again.. later i will die of heart breaking.. and I MEAN IT! ...

Marathon day

*click... ah boy la! wake up lar* .... kao.. only 7a.m my mother wake me up le.. cause i promise him i going to senja with her to do morning gongyo.. =) see i so gd.. lol.. no lar. haha... I have the following prayers...

1. Family happiness, good health
2. Her happiness, good health
3. This one cannot say de.. cause i promise my mom

Yars... i always pray for this prayers very long le.. haha.. wish that it is always happening ba... the third one is just added today de.. cause my mom told me something that has happen.. I always didnt pray for myself.. =) i don't see a need.. =) haha..

Was chanting half way while douya sms me... then she tell me later got the marathon at erm.. wait i go check my hp.. lol.. alan.. oh.. haha.. after chanting, i eat my breakfast at LJS at plaza then went home to bath and then go... haha.. saw douya at her station then we go tgt.. i saw her not meet her... -_-" she is my dyjj and i am his dddd... lolx.. (Douya jiejie),(doudoudidi). =) haha.. went to chant for another 2 more hours then i go to see my god mother le.. hai.. she so poor thing man.. haiz... i am a bad godson.. T-T.. then i pei her.. went to her house and saw!!! ahboy!! the dog.. haha.. he is 7x8 years le.. old liao lor.. haha.. hai.. talk with my godmother for a long time... I really wish that i am a grown up man.. then i take my 2 mother and 2 father overseas to play.. =) hahaha.. they dote on me soOoo mucCcch le... come one.. gogogo.. grow up...

Am i happy?

yAwn.. what a bored day again... T-T... wake up, eat... taking a nap, eat... cousins came my house play.. then eat again.. haix... tooOoo muCcch.. just too much things happen le... iN front of everyone i might act as if i am okay... but who will know the me inside my heart? hahaha... so much unhappiness i have created it by myself... i am a freak... lol... cause myself to upset..

How long will this thing going to end man... I see my parents, only they know i hiding something from them.. But.. whats the point of telling them all this? what they will say is tell me to chant. Chant chant chant... lolx.. i know.. but i just want someone to share my burden.. not the Gohonson.. can gohonson say, "don't worry so much ruting..." can? hahaha...

I just can't imagine how am i going to look like when school reopen.. really.. I am sick of tired of myself man... kaox.. what i can do is to blame myself.. blame myself for being so sensitive... so.. stubborn...

uNfoRgEtaBle dAy

Yesterday... was a bEst day i ever have... really... i mean bEst... Cause.. it have been soOoo long... jUst so long that we can get to meEt each other in oNe biG gang again... iT haVe beeN 2 + yeArs i guess.. >.<" ...

Went to meet yf in the morning... before that, i went to buy 4D.. i dream of 2 set of digit.. "2222" and "6207". I went and bought 2222,6207 and 2673. then went to meet him, but the shop for interviewing for job was not open. So i went to his house and... zZzz.. -___-" haha.. tHen ard 4 plus, we went to meet the rEst of the gAng... =) HOW I WISH I AM BACK TO SEC SCH AGAIN~! =/ thEn we went to oRchard, shaw tower there to buy our movie tickets.. eRm.. i Think i am a freak.. i have eaten KFC and BG meal in one shot.. Maybe i am too depress that i eaten all the sadness i have got ba.. lolx.. or maybe i am growing up again... =x

After the show, we went for some pool.. sO much fun... =) aFter that we went home lor.. hahaha... erm.. why huh? why when i am alone, i felt so lonely de? haiz.. i run again... speed off this time to reach home.. hOw am i going to survive? i Know.. dyjj... i know... bUt... who will understand me? will u? haha... maybe i am a freak in my past life.. thats why this life i am so sucks like hell...

whAt is love then? for me... love is a commitment plus feeling... and not only feeling only... cause... feeling will disappear sooner or later de, but commitment wont. True love is not, "I LOVE YOU, I WANT YOU.." but is actually, "I LOVE YOU I GIVE YOU" haha...

Maybe you think that i am just trying to win your heart. No, i never think that way.. haix... cAuse i want to see you happy... i will do anything do make you happy...

A long journey

Wake up at ard noon... T-T then went kbox with my poly friends, erm CM,YL,Amanda,CY,Loon and me... Wa.. sing again.. been singing sooOooo muUuuccCcccch... sing from 2 to 7 ba.. but... i totally no mood to sing well today...

Then at 7, they all want to go eat... but i didn't follow.. cause too tired le... and basically, I HAVE NO MOOD at all. TOTALLY... then i reach CCK... Maybe i too haiz le ba... really very very very tired le.. so.. i went to lot one.. wander ard.. then i walk.. really walk.. under the LRT track.. As i was walking... there's a lot of flash back.. Why.. what? how?.... Tears started to filled my eyes and it reach a limit that i.. cried... then.. i started to ran... from cck to bangkit.. and i dunno i have ran so far... hai... maybe i was numb... totally dunno what i am doing le... why.. i hate u heaven... i have a gd family.. a gd health... why. why u wan to... hai....

Sporty & Lame3

Wake up at 9a.m and went exerise... YAR! i went jogging, do some pull-up, push-up,sit-up,jumping jack, etc.. Ran for 2.4km... wahahha.. okok.. not funny.. >.<"

Went home after that... rest a while then went out le.. went out with my mother and sister.. she go change her mp3... and i went so see doctor.. not lar.. she also got go see doctor too. haix.. sad.... LOL.. but why i not afraid of that? Maybe i tired of living le ba.. haha.. Jk.. =x

Went movie after that... watch big mama 2.. so.. stupid but i rate 3/5.. haha.. okie okie movie lar.. =) don quite understand the whole thing.. haha... erm.. thats all for today ba.. YUP! JEROME, my sporty journey for this holiday have started.. from today.. =) when i go back to sch again.. u will see a different me le.. kaoz.. like so gay.. sorrie.. lol.. =)